I am posting this here because I want to stick myself to it. I was reading from a couple years ago how great I felt while doing triathlons. I miss that soooo much. I miss the wind in my face while I rode my bike, and the feeling of being in great shape. I miss the friendships I made while pounding in mile upon mile of training. I miss everything about it....except for the time away from my family.
I am in terrible shape now. I feel myself sinking into a depression, and I don't want to even go there (I've been there before). I think the best thing for me to do will be to sign up for short triathlons. That way I can get in shape, do something for myself, yet still have time for my sweet boys. That's it....I am going in search of a race for me to do in the early spring of 2012. It will take me that long to get ready, but I'm going to do it!
Life has been really rough lately (when is it not?). I haven't been sleeping at night, and am get over-the-top anxious about all these trials we are having. I want to share them with you, but I am scared people who I don't want to see will inevitably see, and they will be used against me like so many times in the past. They are so tender. I don't know if I could take it!!! Can I just tell you that I thought I would get some reprieve when we moved back to Rangely, but that is not the case.
I have been so overwhelmed lately with all the suffering in the world. Everywhere I go there is pain, and death, and more pain. Last Sunday, it seemed I had witnessed so many friends and people going through hard times, then I slammed our little kitties foot in the door and she screached out in pain. I broke down! I just don't understand it. It seems that happiness is elusive, and really hard to attain, and what about animals and innocent children who suffer, purposely or accidentally, from the actions of others. All I can say is that this Heaven must be really wonderful for all this to be worth it. Actually, I do know that it is. I think it's time for an attitude adjustment for me!
