The kiddos and I are staying in Glendale, and I am going to put on my happy face and be a single parent for a while. I am scared, but Chris is so unhappy about the situation that I have to be the brave one. Hopefully by Christmas or Spring we will all be together again.
We just got back from Meagan (Chris' sister) and Michael's wedding. It was so beautiful and fun. Montana is gorgeous! After the wedding we spent a few days in Yellowstone. We hiked until we couldn't hike anymore, and saw soooo much wildlife, including 2 bears.
I had one of the most spiritual experiences ever on one of the hikes we went on. There is a hike that goes to the brink of the Lower Falls in the "Grand Canyon of Yellowstone". It is quite a steep hike down to the very top of an enormous waterfall. At the very top of the falls the water is eerily calm, and then suddenly, whoosh, falls over the edge in a massive explosion. The water sprayed so far up on the cliffs below that it created small streams flowing back into the river. So many little things went into this one whole beautiful creation. I thought of our Heavenly Father. I marveled at the many beautiful things we have to enjoy here. The wonder and amazement that our Father created all this for us...all us sinners and imperfect humans, constantly making mistakes, yet he wants us to have beauty and joy. Words cannot express the joy, wonder, excitement, and happiness I felt in this miracle called a waterfall!
I love nature. I think that is one of the reasons I love riding my bike so much. On the bike I see things so much more intimately than in a car or even running.
I have had spiritual experiences like this before and I cherish them. It is exactly what I needed at this time in my life. I have had prayers that I have felt have not been answered of my Father. In a way I felt like I deserved certain things, but I didn't realize this until recently. I felt like they were "righteous desires" and He should bless me with them. When I didn't get what I wanted I was devastated. I felt abandoned, and overwhelmed with sadness. I really want to be content with where I am here, now, and at this moment. This is a struggle for me, but I think finding the things I am thankful for and realizing that I am blessed and I have so much is the key.
3 comments:
Sarah, I know the feelings you are having, and I feel so sad too. I know that things will work out. You will make things work. You have always been good at that! I miss and love you!!!!
I loved your blog, too. I think we've all felt that feeling that we've been abandoned by the Lord...that we should get our way simply because it's a good thing. I've cried to him about it plenty of times, so I relate. His timing is not our timing, is it. Dang it!!! I sure hope things work out for you guys. I want you all to be happy. Love, Auntie Lols
I love those moments. So glad you all came to the wedding!
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